suicide

Dogs

When you pass that bong around
they’re there to surround
when it gets dark
they lay with the hounds
nowhere to be found
get your connect
and fly out of bounds

Advertisements

Holiday In Hell

I know.  Christmas is coming.  Christmas is coming and I’m not looking forward to it.  I may not be alone on Christmas but I won’t be with family.  I will probably be alone with my two dogs.  I do have a couple of friends here but they have family here also.  The only thing worse than being alone is being with someone else’s family.

Thanksgiving was awful.  I couldn’t bear weight and my left leg hurt.  There was no turkey, or pie, or any trimmings.  I made a sandwich and shared a bite with the dogs.  My youngest son sent me a text to tell me Happy Thanksgiving and I thanked him wishing him one too.  I emailed my older son but he hasn’t answered.  I won’t be doing any shopping for Christmas.  I don’t have an address to send gifts to.  I have a tree up but no decorations.  No one will see it so I don’t care.

Today I bought jalepeno peppers to make poppers for a friend who requested them.  It reminded me of the holidays because I always make them then.  I hurried and finished my shopping not wanting to cry in the store.  I even smiled at the check out clerk.  The groceries are put up and I am alone where it’s safe.  I no longer cry every day and every night I remind myself as my tears fall.  But tonight will be long as I allow myself to remember it’s almost Christmas.